Relax

Relaxing is about all I have been up to these days, and as I have said before that is tough for me. I am an active person and I rarely sit down when I am home so I have been learning to just sit and rest and take help when it is offered to me. I am wrestling with a lot of emotions, a lot of which are ones I have never felt and have left me feeling like I am on an emotional roller coaster. There are moments of unexplainable peace and I am grateful for each day of life and as a result, I experience a surprising joy. I commit myself to fight with all my strength against the enemy Cancer, finding strength I never knew I had even when I am experiencing a tiredness I never thought possible.These emotions come and go, they are unpredictable, and often beyond my control. I know my emotions are a gift from God, they allow me to laugh and to cry, be happy be sad, and always lead me back to Him. 
This morning I am sitting at home by myself for the first time in 3 weeks, enjoying my devotions while listening to the rain. It is so peaceful and calming, especially as I read about hope and knowing although some days look dark there is everlasting light in Him, and the more I put my hope in Him the more His Love-Light shines on me brightening my day. I know that He will help and strengthen me with His Love.

This Friday I have an outpatient surgical procedure to have my port placed. For those of you who don't know what it is, its a small device placed under my skin to allow easy access to my bloodstream for drawing blood and infusing the chemo drugs, it will be placed on my upper chest or upper arm.  Once it is placed I will then have a physical reminder of my cancer warrior status.  

Prayer requests

1. Port placement on Friday, that everything will go okay.

2. My oncology appt is next Thursday.

3. That I will continue to have more and more energy and strength each day.

4. Continued strength for my family as they help me through this and have to deal with all my emotions :)