Thursday, April 18, 2013


Hello everyone, thanks for reading my blog and for letting me update you all this way with my journey. Today was the day we met with my oncologist Dr. Brett Brinker to find out what my chemo road will look like. First off I was very impressed with Dr. Brinker and the time he took to answer every possible question we had and to explain the process completely without any pressure. He explained the standard care  for colon cancer is a form of chemotherapy regimen called FOLFOX. FOLFOX is made up of 3 drugs, which I won't get into, but they will be administered for 12 cycles over 6 months.  The schedule would be something like going in on a Thursday for 4 hours for chemo in the office and then going home with an infusion pump connected to the port which I will leave in for 2 days and go back on Saturday to have taken out. There are a few common side effects that all patients on FOLFOX experience, including fatigue, sensitive to cold, and nueropathy (numbness of fingers and toes). Other side effects vary per person, but they will be watching especially for dehydration because of my ileostomy.
So overall I am feeling encouraged it looks like I will be starting the chemotherapy the first week of May. It will be a 14 day cycle where I really only have to go in every two weeks for four hours and the treatment is aimed at a cure of long term remission. I should feel good overall, obviously tired and side effects vary but the long term prognosis looks good.  This is such a relief to know what the next six months of my life will look like and also that things are not as bad as they could have been. I know there will be hard days, but I now feel more confidant then ever that I will get through this. I have a great team of doctors and nurses that's goal is to get me cancer free and feel good during the process, and my amazing family and friends that are letting me relax, heal and standing by me the entire way.
I will continue to use this blog to update you as to how I am feeling throughout the chemo and my take down surgery. Thank you again to everyone who is reading this and I hope in some way I am able to touch at least one person through my personal journey through cancer. I know there is no guarantee in this method or the road I am taking but I trust in the name of the Lord our God (Psalm 20:7). My future is in God's hands, I want to seek Him fully in this time with all my heart and trust Him completely.

Prayer Requests
1. That we make wise choices regarding my medical treatments
2. That I will feel healthy of mind, body and spirit.
3. Continued prayer for my family as we get through this together.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013


Relaxing is about all I have been up to these days, and as I have said before that is tough for me. I am an active person and I rarely sit down when I am home so I have been learning to just sit and rest and take help when it is offered to me. I am wrestling with a lot of emotions, a lot of which are ones I have never felt and have left me feeling like I am on an emotional roller coaster. There are moments of unexplainable peace and I am grateful for each day of life and as a result, I experience a surprising joy. I commit myself to fight with all my strength against the enemy Cancer, finding strength I never knew I had even when I am experiencing a tiredness I never thought possible.These emotions come and go, they are unpredictable, and often beyond my control. I know my emotions are a gift from God, they allow me to laugh and to cry, be happy be sad, and always lead me back to Him. 
This morning I am sitting at home by myself for the first time in 3 weeks, enjoying my devotions while listening to the rain. It is so peaceful and calming, especially as I read about hope and knowing although some days look dark there is everlasting light in Him, and the more I put my hope in Him the more His Love-Light shines on me brightening my day. I know that He will help and strengthen me with His Love.
This Friday I have an outpatient surgical procedure to have my port placed. For those of you who don't know what it is, its a small device placed under my skin to allow easy access to my bloodstream for drawing blood and infusing the chemo drugs, it will be placed on my upper chest or upper arm.  Once it is placed I will then have a physical reminder of my cancer warrior status.  

Prayer requests
1. Port placement on Friday, that everything will go okay.
2. My oncology appt is next Thursday.
3. That I will continue to have more and more energy and strength each day.
4. Continued strength for my family as they help me through this and have to deal with all my emotions :)

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Letting Go

It has been 2 weeks post op today, I am feeling pretty good overall. I am much more tired and exhausted than I thought I would be by now and having a little trouble sleeping. Things that normally are no big deal like taking a shower, helping getting the boys dressed and taking a short walk wear me out so quickly. I am really struggling with that part, I am an extremely active person and I feel extremely helpless. My mom is here during the day to help me and Ron takes care of me at night after he gets home from work. I have had to ask God for a lot of help learning to rest and trust in Him. Some days the circumstances seem overwhelming but when they do I usually get a phone call, a text or a card from one of My people and I hear God's tender voice saying "I love you". My mom and Ron have been amazing making sure I am getting my rest and being beyond understanding that I have had a major surgery and am struggling mentally and physically especially in preparation of chemo.

Since the day I put my faith in Jesus as my personal Lord and Savior, He has blessed me immeasurably more than all I could think or imagine. My life has been filled with ups and downs especially regarding my health journey but he is always giving me strength and peace when I am weary. 

Throughout it all He has renewed my strength to face each new day. He embraces my hopes and lovingly protects a heart that trusts. God has a lot more to teach me, a lot more of showing His love for me through this whole process. Some days it seems like a lifetime until this will be over but I know I will look back and this will only be a small part of my long life ahead.