Trust in the name of the Lord

I started round two of my chemo yesterday, it went great overall my amazing friend Arryn came and hung out with me for the day, we were able to enjoy the beautiful day out on the deck at Lemmon Holton. The only real issue I had was when they took me off the infusion at the hospital to transfer it to my take home part I started having immediate reactions to Oxaliplatin which causes the neuropathy in my hands and feet. Have you ever had a charlie horse in your feet/toes? That is what it felt like in my hands, I couldn't move or function with them very well. My hands have been very unsteady, shaky and have much more extreme sensitivity to the cold compared to last time. I ended up staying at the hospital for an hour and a half after my infusion was done because my neck was breaking out in a rash and they thought I was having an allergic reaction to the chemo. We think it was just my nerves regarding my hands, it was really freaking me out. My doctor is was supposed to see me every other treatment, but because of my extreme reaction to the Oxaliplatin drug he wants to see me every time I come so he can monitor me closely.

This is a pic of me hanging out at home after chemo yesterday wearing my sweet fanny pack with the chemo pump inside.

I was reading my devotions this morning and this really spoke to me, I think there is a few of you that may need to hear this today too so I thought I'd share. "Trust me here and now. You are in rigorous training-on an adventurous trail designed for you alone. This path is not of your choosing, but it is My way for you. I am doing things you can't understand. This is why I say "Trust Me!" The jungle is thick, and you cannot clearly see what is before you, behind you, or beside you. Cling to My hand as you follow this trail in shadowy darkness. Although you cannot see Me, My Presence with you is rock-solid reality. Find hope in Me, beloved, for I am taking care of you. Focus on enjoying Me and all that I am to you - even though your circumstances scream for resolution. Refuse to obsess about your problems and how you are going to fix them. Instead, affirm your trust in Me; wait hopefully in My Presence, and watch to see what I will do." - Jesus Today, Sarah Young.

I have had a lot of people ask how I could truly trust God during this time, this is what I shared with a friend. "I just think about the trust that my boys have in my husband and I, they know that we love them unconditionally and they don't question whether we will take care of them, and that is the kind of faith that we should have in God our Father. God loves us and wants to help us with All our problems, big and small and although it is sometimes hard we need to let him." When we entrust our cares to God, we are allowing Him to be glorified no matter the outcome.

Prayer Requests.
1. That my neuropathy gets better and it won't become cumulative as the chemo goes on.
2. I will have strength on the hard days.
3. Peace and Strength for my family as they are been helping me through this.

Rachel Zoe - "Beyond Major"

So I have always been a fan of Rachel Zoe since her show debuted in 2008 and have been watching ever since. I think she is an amazing stylist, designer and more important working wife and mother who always takes time for her family and puts them first. I absolutely love her clothing line and her vintage inspired style, you know me and my obsession with my huge flair jeans and anything vintage. As many of you know part of my chemo regimen requires me to have an infusion that is worn in a fanny pack that I take home, the bag that  was given to me is your basic black fanny and not cute whatsoever. So I have been trying to find something that would match my style and also work to hold the chemo, lets just say there is not a lot out there. Then it came to me, I was watching Rachel Zoe and remembered she had designed a fanny for her 2013 spring collection and it would work perfectly.

Of course, I scoured the internet and was not able to find it anywhere, so as a last resort I went to her company's website and wrote an email to the contact info address telling a little bit of my story and that I was looking to see where I could buy one and what I wanted to use it for. I honestly thought in no way would I get a response, and if I did it would be a link to a website where I could buy. To my surprise I got an email this morning from the VP of Strategic Brand Development in Rachel Zoe's New York office. This was the response I received.

Are you kidding me??? When I received this email this morning, I literally started shaking and crying. To some of you this may seem really silly, but this touched me in such a way I can't even explain. First of all the I am sure Rachel and her team get thousands of emails a day and for mine to touch someone enough to bring it up in a meeting with the incredibly busy Rachel Zoe, her husband and Mandana I can't even believe it, but for her to send me 2 bags I am just blown away.  

So to say the least today has been a pretty great day I received this amazing email this morning which is probably one of the coolest things ever, I had flowers on my door step from our jeweler that Ron has bought all my jewelry from saying they were thinking about me, and I had a girls fun night out with a great friend.  I just love the little ways God shows you He is thinking about you even when life is hard and some days are a struggle to get up in the morning. He loves us all and shows us love through the ways that we need it and this was exactly what I needed. I loved Rachel Zoe before but now I love her even more, she's just maj! God you are awesome!!

FOLFOX

Hello everyone, thanks for reading my blog and for letting me update you all this way with my journey. Today was the day we met with my oncologist Dr. Brett Brinker to find out what my chemo road will look like. First off I was very impressed with Dr. Brinker and the time he took to answer every possible question we had and to explain the process completely without any pressure. He explained the standard care  for colon cancer is a form of chemotherapy regimen called FOLFOX. FOLFOX is made up of 3 drugs, which I won't get into, but they will be administered for 12 cycles over 6 months.  The schedule would be something like going in on a Thursday for 4 hours for chemo in the office and then going home with an infusion pump connected to the port which I will leave in for 2 days and go back on Saturday to have taken out. There are a few common side effects that all patients on FOLFOX experience, including fatigue, sensitive to cold, and nueropathy (numbness of fingers and toes). Other side effects vary per person, but they will be watching especially for dehydration because of my ileostomy.
So overall I am feeling encouraged it looks like I will be starting the chemotherapy the first week of May. It will be a 14 day cycle where I really only have to go in every two weeks for four hours and the treatment is aimed at a cure of long term remission. I should feel good overall, obviously tired and side effects vary but the long term prognosis looks good.  This is such a relief to know what the next six months of my life will look like and also that things are not as bad as they could have been. I know there will be hard days, but I now feel more confidant then ever that I will get through this. I have a great team of doctors and nurses that's goal is to get me cancer free and feel good during the process, and my amazing family and friends that are letting me relax, heal and standing by me the entire way.
I will continue to use this blog to update you as to how I am feeling throughout the chemo and my take down surgery. Thank you again to everyone who is reading this and I hope in some way I am able to touch at least one person through my personal journey through cancer. I know there is no guarantee in this method or the road I am taking but I trust in the name of the Lord our God (Psalm 20:7). My future is in God's hands, I want to seek Him fully in this time with all my heart and trust Him completely.

Prayer Requests
1. That we make wise choices regarding my medical treatments
2. That I will feel healthy of mind, body and spirit.
3. Continued prayer for my family as we get through this together.