Friday, May 17, 2013

Trust in the name of the Lord

I started round two of my chemo yesterday, it went great overall my amazing friend Arryn came and hung out with me for the day, we were able to enjoy the beautiful day out on the deck at Lemmon Holton. The only real issue I had was when they took me off the infusion at the hospital to transfer it to my take home part I started having immediate reactions to Oxaliplatin which causes the neuropathy in my hands and feet. Have you ever had a charlie horse in your feet/toes? That is what it felt like in my hands, I couldn't move or function with them very well. My hands have been very unsteady, shaky and have much more extreme sensitivity to the cold compared to last time. I ended up staying at the hospital for an hour and a half after my infusion was done because my neck was breaking out in a rash and they thought I was having an allergic reaction to the chemo. We think it was just my nerves regarding my hands, it was really freaking me out. My doctor is was supposed to see me every other treatment, but because of my extreme reaction to the Oxaliplatin drug he wants to see me every time I come so he can monitor me closely.
This is a pic of me hanging out at home after chemo yesterday wearing my sweet fanny pack with the chemo pump inside.

I was reading my devotions this morning and this really spoke to me, I think there is a few of you that may need to hear this today too so I thought I'd share. "Trust me here and now. You are in rigorous training-on an adventurous trail designed for you alone. This path is not of your choosing, but it is My way for you. I am doing things you can't understand. This is why I say "Trust Me!" The jungle is thick, and you cannot clearly see what is before you, behind you, or beside you. Cling to My hand as you follow this trail in shadowy darkness. Although you cannot see Me, My Presence with you is rock-solid reality. Find hope in Me, beloved, for I am taking care of you. Focus on enjoying Me and all that I am to you - even though your circumstances scream for resolution. Refuse to obsess about your problems and how you are going to fix them. Instead, affirm your trust in Me; wait hopefully in My Presence, and watch to see what I will do." - Jesus Today, Sarah Young.

I have had a lot of people ask how I could truly trust God during this time, this is what I shared with a friend. "I just think about the trust that my boys have in my husband and I, they know that we love them unconditionally and they don't question whether we will take care of them, and that is the kind of faith that we should have in God our Father. God loves us and wants to help us with All our problems, big and small and although it is sometimes hard we need to let him." When we entrust our cares to God, we are allowing Him to be glorified no matter the outcome.

Prayer Requests.
1. That my neuropathy gets better and it won't become cumulative as the chemo goes on.
2. I will have strength on the hard days.
3. Peace and Strength for my family as they are been helping me through this.


  1. Hi Heidi,

    I have been praying for you for some time. Steve Timyan told me your story and I added you to my prayer list.

    I am thrilled to hear you are doing well given all you are working through. Your faith is a great example to many and I am certain it has been a great source of strength for you. Know that the Lord is hearing your name from me and many others every day.

    Grace and peace,

    Ken Filippini

  2. My mother was just diagnosed with colon cancer, and it is so heart breaking. She received her pump today, and hates it so much. Where did you get this bag? it is adorable, and I think it would really raise her spirits. Thank you for taking the time to read this. --Jamie