I want to praise God for the experiences I have been through for the past 6 months and also thank Him that its almost over. I finished up my final round of chemo Saturday July 13, and I have spent the last couple weeks recovering and feeling pretty great. Today Ron and I met with my surgeon and I have my ostomy takedown surgery scheduled for next Monday Aug 5. I am ecstatic and nervous and emotional just thinking about being done with this all. I keep thinking that when I am done, my life will be normal again but I know I am walking into a totally new territory. I have had Crohns disease since I was 12 years old so I am not sure what "normal" really is but I can't wait to find out!
Thank you to my friends and family who have prayed in faith that I would persevere through all of this, I have gained strength and comfort from knowing that. I appreciate the continued prayer and support as I have my surgery next week and will have about 4-6 weeks recovery time. I have found one of the best ways to draw strength is to sing praises to God even when things are weighing heavy. So, please praise Him with with me as I embark on this next path in my life journey and that I will continue to find strength and courage for the next steps.
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Monday, July 8, 2013
My Grace is Sufficient for You
God's grace is sufficient for you, and His grace is enough to get you through the toughest times. These last 4 and 1/2 months have been some of the hardest times of my life so far, but also some of the most amazing. I have had some of the lowest days, but on those lowest days God has shown me His precious grace, His mercy and His loving kindness. And the amazing part, some of you may ask how my life could be amazing when I am going through cancer at age 28, but through this tough time God has shown me true love, my husband Ron has carried me and loved me unconditionally through the daily struggles, my family has stood by me, gone to appointments, made me laugh when I want to cry, my friends have just been there when I needed them, sent me flowers, cards, gifts, called, texted, brought us meals, done whatever we needed whenever we needed it. This journey has been an incredible blessing and joy to our lives, we have depended on God and each other and have grown so much closer and enjoyed a depth of love we never dreamed possible.
I'm sorry it has been so long since I have updated, but that is actually a good thing because I really haven't had much to share. The chemo has been going well, I really haven't had too many side effects other than being tired which seems to be getting worse as time goes on. This week I will be going through round 6 of chemo, I honestly can't even believe how fast the last 4 and 1/2 months have gone. I truly believe God has protected me during this time and all the thoughts and prayers being sent up by you all have been what has carried me through. Tomorrow I have an ultrasound to checkout my liver because the last two rounds of chemo my blood work has shown my liver numbers are high, so they want to see what is causing that. Also, when I go in Thursday for my chemo infusion we will be meeting with the doctor to finalize a discussion of possibly being done with chemo after 6 rounds which would mean I would be done on Saturday which is also my 29th b-day!! When I first met with the doctor he told me that he thinks studies will show that with the FOLFOX treatment of chemo that 6 rounds will prove to be just as good as 12. So Ron and I have been praying about it and I really don't want to put any more poison in my body than I have to, so we would like to be done after 6 if the doctor agrees.
So, I ask for your prayers this week as we get my test results back and make one of the biggest decisions of mine and my families life. Ron and I feel at peace about it, but we still need to finish the discussion with the doctor and it depends on how the tests this week turn out. My girlfriend Kelly sent me a beautiful bracelet this weekend with the Serenity prayer inscribed on it to encourage me through this week. I want to share it with you because I know some of you are going through some really hard things, and I hope it lifts you up as much as it did me.
I'm sorry it has been so long since I have updated, but that is actually a good thing because I really haven't had much to share. The chemo has been going well, I really haven't had too many side effects other than being tired which seems to be getting worse as time goes on. This week I will be going through round 6 of chemo, I honestly can't even believe how fast the last 4 and 1/2 months have gone. I truly believe God has protected me during this time and all the thoughts and prayers being sent up by you all have been what has carried me through. Tomorrow I have an ultrasound to checkout my liver because the last two rounds of chemo my blood work has shown my liver numbers are high, so they want to see what is causing that. Also, when I go in Thursday for my chemo infusion we will be meeting with the doctor to finalize a discussion of possibly being done with chemo after 6 rounds which would mean I would be done on Saturday which is also my 29th b-day!! When I first met with the doctor he told me that he thinks studies will show that with the FOLFOX treatment of chemo that 6 rounds will prove to be just as good as 12. So Ron and I have been praying about it and I really don't want to put any more poison in my body than I have to, so we would like to be done after 6 if the doctor agrees.
So, I ask for your prayers this week as we get my test results back and make one of the biggest decisions of mine and my families life. Ron and I feel at peace about it, but we still need to finish the discussion with the doctor and it depends on how the tests this week turn out. My girlfriend Kelly sent me a beautiful bracelet this weekend with the Serenity prayer inscribed on it to encourage me through this week. I want to share it with you because I know some of you are going through some really hard things, and I hope it lifts you up as much as it did me.
Friday, May 17, 2013
Trust in the name of the Lord
I started round two of my chemo yesterday, it went great overall my amazing friend Arryn came and hung out with me for the day, we were able to enjoy the beautiful day out on the deck at Lemmon Holton. The only real issue I had was when they took me off the infusion at the hospital to transfer it to my take home part I started having immediate reactions to Oxaliplatin which causes the neuropathy in my hands and feet. Have you ever had a charlie horse in your feet/toes? That is what it felt like in my hands, I couldn't move or function with them very well. My hands have been very unsteady, shaky and have much more extreme sensitivity to the cold compared to last time. I ended up staying at the hospital for an hour and a half after my infusion was done because my neck was breaking out in a rash and they thought I was having an allergic reaction to the chemo. We think it was just my nerves regarding my hands, it was really freaking me out. My doctor is was supposed to see me every other treatment, but because of my extreme reaction to the Oxaliplatin drug he wants to see me every time I come so he can monitor me closely.
This is a pic of me hanging out at home after chemo yesterday wearing my sweet fanny pack with the chemo pump inside.
I was reading my devotions this morning and this really spoke to me, I think there is a few of you that may need to hear this today too so I thought I'd share. "Trust me here and now. You are in rigorous training-on an adventurous trail designed for you alone. This path is not of your choosing, but it is My way for you. I am doing things you can't understand. This is why I say "Trust Me!" The jungle is thick, and you cannot clearly see what is before you, behind you, or beside you. Cling to My hand as you follow this trail in shadowy darkness. Although you cannot see Me, My Presence with you is rock-solid reality. Find hope in Me, beloved, for I am taking care of you. Focus on enjoying Me and all that I am to you - even though your circumstances scream for resolution. Refuse to obsess about your problems and how you are going to fix them. Instead, affirm your trust in Me; wait hopefully in My Presence, and watch to see what I will do." - Jesus Today, Sarah Young.
I have had a lot of people ask how I could truly trust God during this time, this is what I shared with a friend. "I just think about the trust that my boys have in my husband and I, they know that we love them unconditionally and they don't question whether we will take care of them, and that is the kind of faith that we should have in God our Father. God loves us and wants to help us with All our problems, big and small and although it is sometimes hard we need to let him." When we entrust our cares to God, we are allowing Him to be glorified no matter the outcome.
Prayer Requests.
1. That my neuropathy gets better and it won't become cumulative as the chemo goes on.
2. I will have strength on the hard days.
3. Peace and Strength for my family as they are been helping me through this.
I was reading my devotions this morning and this really spoke to me, I think there is a few of you that may need to hear this today too so I thought I'd share. "Trust me here and now. You are in rigorous training-on an adventurous trail designed for you alone. This path is not of your choosing, but it is My way for you. I am doing things you can't understand. This is why I say "Trust Me!" The jungle is thick, and you cannot clearly see what is before you, behind you, or beside you. Cling to My hand as you follow this trail in shadowy darkness. Although you cannot see Me, My Presence with you is rock-solid reality. Find hope in Me, beloved, for I am taking care of you. Focus on enjoying Me and all that I am to you - even though your circumstances scream for resolution. Refuse to obsess about your problems and how you are going to fix them. Instead, affirm your trust in Me; wait hopefully in My Presence, and watch to see what I will do." - Jesus Today, Sarah Young.
I have had a lot of people ask how I could truly trust God during this time, this is what I shared with a friend. "I just think about the trust that my boys have in my husband and I, they know that we love them unconditionally and they don't question whether we will take care of them, and that is the kind of faith that we should have in God our Father. God loves us and wants to help us with All our problems, big and small and although it is sometimes hard we need to let him." When we entrust our cares to God, we are allowing Him to be glorified no matter the outcome.
Prayer Requests.
1. That my neuropathy gets better and it won't become cumulative as the chemo goes on.
2. I will have strength on the hard days.
3. Peace and Strength for my family as they are been helping me through this.
Sunday, May 12, 2013
Happy Mother's Day
I hope you all had a wonderful and joyous Mother's Day because I sure did. I am so lucky to be the mom of the two most happy, fun, handsome, smart and thoughtful boys Isaac and Jackson. It was quite chilly today for May in Michigan, but I still had to take a picture in front of my Mother's Day Tree which we planted on my first Mother's Day.
Happy Mother's Day also to all the amazing mommy's in my life who inspire me to be a better mother and wife everyday, especially my beautiful mother who raised me be strong and humble, you are beautiful inside and out and I am thankful everyday for you.
Friday, May 10, 2013
Pics
I have been asked by a few people to post more pictures of my journey on my blog since not everyone gets to see me on the reg and also don't see them on FB :)
So I thought I would throw a few up of my journey so far.
Post Surgery
Port Placement
First Chemo Treatment - Hospital stay for blockage
My adorable husband and I, just wanted to share this one because Ron looks cute in his suit and we are celebrating our 6 year wedding anniversary tomorrow!
Okay now I will be better about posting pictures in the future :)
Thursday, May 9, 2013
Rachel Zoe - "Beyond Major"
So I have always been a fan of Rachel Zoe since her show debuted in 2008 and have been watching ever since. I think she is an amazing stylist, designer and more important working wife and mother who always takes time for her family and puts them first. I absolutely love her clothing line and her vintage inspired style, you know me and my obsession with my huge flair jeans and anything vintage. As many of you know part of my chemo regimen requires me to have an infusion that is worn in a fanny pack that I take home, the bag that was given to me is your basic black fanny and not cute whatsoever. So I have been trying to find something that would match my style and also work to hold the chemo, lets just say there is not a lot out there. Then it came to me, I was watching Rachel Zoe and remembered she had designed a fanny for her 2013 spring collection and it would work perfectly.
Of course, I scoured the internet and was not able to find it anywhere, so as a last resort I went to her company's website and wrote an email to the contact info address telling a little bit of my story and that I was looking to see where I could buy one and what I wanted to use it for. I honestly thought in no way would I get a response, and if I did it would be a link to a website where I could buy. To my surprise I got an email this morning from the VP of Strategic Brand Development in Rachel Zoe's New York office. This was the response I received.
Are you kidding me??? When I received this email this morning, I literally started shaking and crying. To some of you this may seem really silly, but this touched me in such a way I can't even explain. First of all the I am sure Rachel and her team get thousands of emails a day and for mine to touch someone enough to bring it up in a meeting with the incredibly busy Rachel Zoe, her husband and Mandana I can't even believe it, but for her to send me 2 bags I am just blown away.
So to say the least today has been a pretty great day I received this amazing email this morning which is probably one of the coolest things ever, I had flowers on my door step from our jeweler that Ron has bought all my jewelry from saying they were thinking about me, and I had a girls fun night out with a great friend. I just love the little ways God shows you He is thinking about you even when life is hard and some days are a struggle to get up in the morning. He loves us all and shows us love through the ways that we need it and this was exactly what I needed. I loved Rachel Zoe before but now I love her even more, she's just maj! God you are awesome!!
Monday, May 6, 2013
Counting on His Faithfulness
Sorry it has been so long since I have written, a lot has happened in the last few weeks so let me catch you up.
1. Sunday Ron traveled to Peru last week with no phone or internet access.
2. Wednesday had my post op surgical appt which went great, my doctor said I can go back to normal activities.
3. Wednesday night I started having the most intense pains in my stomach I have ever felt, they continued to get worse so bad that I started to vomit from the pain. I called my doctor and he told me to go to the emergency room, that I had a blockage in my intestine. They did x-rays and a CT Scan, they found a blockage but my there were no kinks or folds so I wouldn't have to do surgery and I just had to wait it out. They gave me pain and anti nausea meds to try and make me feel comfortable.
4. I was supposed to start my first chemo treatment Thursday morning but since I was in the hospital that didn't happen right away. My oncologist gave me the go ahead to start the chemo in the hospital Thursday afternoon.
5. My chemo treatment started Thursday afternoon at 3:00 and they continued it overnight by IV infusion until Friday at 2:00.
6. Ron came home from Peru around 1:30 on Friday not knowing I was in the hospital, he came to the hospital in time to take me to Lemmen Holton Cancer Center to receive my infusion pump to take home.
7. Saturday morning we went back to Lemmen Holton to have my pump removed.
So that brings us to today, I am 2 days post chemo treatment 1 and feeling great! Other than a few minimal side effects including fatigue and sensitivity to cold including when I drink and touch anything cold I feel good. The doctors gave me anti nausea meds, I have felt like I was on the edge of getting sick a couple times but I took the meds and am now staying on top of them and have not gotten sick.
I feel very strong and healthy at this point in my journey and I know this will not always be so I am enjoying it while I can. I have been so encouraged and strengthened by the beauty I see outside, with arrival of Spring I see that God is providing all his living creatures with with exactly what they need and I know he will do the same for me. He will provide for me through every need and decision related to my cancer journey and for life! I am daily reminded of his faithfulness and presence, even today as He is protecting me from side effects.
My family has been overwhelmed by the goodness of the people in our lives through my surgery and now the beginning of of chemo. I wish I could personally sit down and thank each and everyone of you for the big and little things you have done for our family. When people say there is no longer good in this world they do not know my family and friends, I know I have said this before and will say it again but we have the worlds best support system and I could not go through this without them/you.
I know that the power of prayer is unsurpassed, God has placed this desire on your heart and I beyone grateful
Prayer Requests
1. No side effects from the chemo
2. For complete healing of my body and removal of all cancer
3. Renewed strength for myself and my family as we begin this chemo journey
1. Sunday Ron traveled to Peru last week with no phone or internet access.
2. Wednesday had my post op surgical appt which went great, my doctor said I can go back to normal activities.
3. Wednesday night I started having the most intense pains in my stomach I have ever felt, they continued to get worse so bad that I started to vomit from the pain. I called my doctor and he told me to go to the emergency room, that I had a blockage in my intestine. They did x-rays and a CT Scan, they found a blockage but my there were no kinks or folds so I wouldn't have to do surgery and I just had to wait it out. They gave me pain and anti nausea meds to try and make me feel comfortable.
4. I was supposed to start my first chemo treatment Thursday morning but since I was in the hospital that didn't happen right away. My oncologist gave me the go ahead to start the chemo in the hospital Thursday afternoon.
5. My chemo treatment started Thursday afternoon at 3:00 and they continued it overnight by IV infusion until Friday at 2:00.
6. Ron came home from Peru around 1:30 on Friday not knowing I was in the hospital, he came to the hospital in time to take me to Lemmen Holton Cancer Center to receive my infusion pump to take home.
7. Saturday morning we went back to Lemmen Holton to have my pump removed.
So that brings us to today, I am 2 days post chemo treatment 1 and feeling great! Other than a few minimal side effects including fatigue and sensitivity to cold including when I drink and touch anything cold I feel good. The doctors gave me anti nausea meds, I have felt like I was on the edge of getting sick a couple times but I took the meds and am now staying on top of them and have not gotten sick.
I feel very strong and healthy at this point in my journey and I know this will not always be so I am enjoying it while I can. I have been so encouraged and strengthened by the beauty I see outside, with arrival of Spring I see that God is providing all his living creatures with with exactly what they need and I know he will do the same for me. He will provide for me through every need and decision related to my cancer journey and for life! I am daily reminded of his faithfulness and presence, even today as He is protecting me from side effects.
My family has been overwhelmed by the goodness of the people in our lives through my surgery and now the beginning of of chemo. I wish I could personally sit down and thank each and everyone of you for the big and little things you have done for our family. When people say there is no longer good in this world they do not know my family and friends, I know I have said this before and will say it again but we have the worlds best support system and I could not go through this without them/you.
I know that the power of prayer is unsurpassed, God has placed this desire on your heart and I beyone grateful
Prayer Requests
1. No side effects from the chemo
2. For complete healing of my body and removal of all cancer
3. Renewed strength for myself and my family as we begin this chemo journey
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